So this is how it’s going to be, huh?The three of us brought back a combined total of fifteen tapes.
My input: “This one was okay, this one had a rape, this one was okay, this one was okay, this one had a mild S&M scene, so I’ll make Phil watch it and make the final call.”
Eric: “This one was really boring. It didn’t have any plot at all, just a sofa and a guy with two women. It was all just, ‘suck a little dick, eat a little pussy, fuck a little, suck a little dick, eat a little pussy, fuck a little.’ ‘Lather, rinse, repeat.’ Then they'd throw a different colored blanket over the sofa and pretend they were in another room and start the cycle all over again. It's boring as hell, but I guess it’s safe to put back out on the shelf for rent.
"This one at least tried to have a plot, but the acting was just … well, it was … words fail me. If anyone’s turned on by this one, they need to change therapists. But in terms of the D.A.’s list, I suppose it passes.
"This one had a rape, this one had a rape, this one I fell asleep in the middle of, I’ll take it home and finish it tonight.”
Kevin: “Uh,… er,… I … saw about the first twenty minutes of this one. I didn’t get to the other ones. I was … uh,… too tired. But what I saw of this one seemed to be okay.”
Eric piped up a little too loudly, “Good God, man, did you at least wipe the cum off the TV screen?!”
Kevin turned several shades of red and quietly put all his tapes back into the “unwatched” pile. Eric picked up the partially-watched tape and opened the case. He slammed it shut again.
“Damn it, you rewound it! Next time you ejaculate prematurely, don’t rewind the tape. At least give us the ability to pick up where you left off.”
As manager, I have to consider disciplining Eric for being so harsh with one of the staff. But I kind of agree with him in theory. At least maybe Kevin will try harder next time to take this seriously, and maybe the straight boys will get the picture that this isn't just a work-sanctioned masturbate-a-thon.
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Later, I had a brief phone call with Phil.
“Listen, we’ve been discussing it here at the main office, and we wanted to clarify.”
“Clarify?”
“Well, you know… what’s okay and what’s not.”
“Okay…. What’s okay?”
“Well, I mean,…. It’s like… you know, spanking.”
“I don’t get you.”
“This whole S&M thing on the list. We all watched some tapes last night—“
“So did we.”
“—and there’s a lot of spanking going on. Like, in every tape. And since the D.A. put S&M and B&D on his list, we had a discussion this morning about what constitutes acceptable levels of spanking.”
Silence.
“Okay. So what constitutes an acceptable level of spanking?”
“Well, I mean, you know, sometimes when you’re having sex, you just … have to slap the woman’s ass once or twice. It’s just a natural impulse. Everybody does it, it’s almost impossible not to.”
“I’ll take your word on that.”
“But that’s not the same as tying someone up and beating them with a baseball bat.”
“I would agree with that beating someone with a bat is different from giving them a slap on the ass, yes.”
“So we decided that if it’s just a tap on the ass or two, that’s okay, that’s not S&M.”
“Got it. Open hand, good. Clinched fist, not so good. Baseball bat, not acceptable at all except as a dildo.”
“Good."
"Anything else?"
"Yeah. Explain this whole spanking thing to your staff for me. Thanks, champ.”
Click.
This is going to be a long few weeks.
